Anyone who plays golf can empathize with this situation.

I am an amateur golfer—by every definition—my game is fraught with “setbacks.”  Whether its a shot that has exited the premisses—stage left or right—dribbled off the front of the tee box, gone for a swim or just plain wouldn’t cooperate with my plan, it’s a “setback”!  How I approach these setbacks has a significant impact on the rest of my game.

In order to keep from moving from a poorly executed  or ill advised shot to an irrevocably tarnished round—when my body and mind have betrayed me—I find  it very helpful go through the 3G’s—BEFORE stepping into position for my next swing.  These 3G’s include:

1.  Grieve – Give myself a moment to lament the error of my ways and the incumbent misfortune that has occurred and “forgive myself” (I’m not a worthless piece of slime.  Stuff happens.  My swing does not define me)

2.  Grow -  Sift through the remnants of the damage for clues of what happened—what can I learn?  What do I need to do differently next time?

3.  Go – Go through my pre-shot routine of what I need to do right—notice I said “what needs to go right “NOT” what do I need to keep from doing”—and then pull the trigger.

This routine has made my golf game AND my LIFE GAME much more enjoyable.

You been fitted yet?

Have you joined the group of millions of us golfers who have stepped up their interest level in their golfing performance to the point that we have decided to buy golf clubs fitted to our unique swings instead of buying a generic set of clubs off the shelf ?  By doing so, we are working in harmony more than dissonance with our clubs so that we can perform better and enjoy the game more.   Makes sense to me.

How about your life/career?  Have you been fitted yet?  Our fingerprints and our DNA lead to the inescapable reality that each of us is especially created for our unique life.  Doesn’t it make sense to work in harmony instead of dissonance with the way we are wired physically and spiritually?

Makes sense to me.

The Game of Golf is a wonderful gift.

Life is a wonderful Gift.

In Golf, I must choose and execute my own shots.  No one is allowed to play for me.

In Life, I am responsible for my choices and behavior.  No one can live my life for me.

In Golf, the consequences are either positive or negative for each shot I play.

In Life, the consequences are either positive or negative depending on my choices and behavior.

In Golf, I, or one of my playing partners, keep the score.

In Life, God keeps the score.

In Golf, I have to finish the round and record my score for the round to count.

In Life, I will  “finish the round” and God will record my score for me.  And it will count.

In Golf, the score I post will last throughout history.

In Life, my score will live into eternity.

In competition Golf, one of my partners will attest to the accuracy of my scorecard.

In Life, God will validate my final score and Christ will “attest” to its accuracy.

A perfect round of Golf is mathematically improbable.  I can never shoot a perfect score.

God is perfect and demands a perfect sinless score in my Life.  I will never be perfect on my own.

In Golf, I have no choice, but to post my less than perfect score. In Life, I have a choice of which score will be carried into eternity, perfect or less than perfect.

In Golf, I choose which course I will play.

In Life, I choose which “course” I will play for eternity.  I can choose to drive into the Darkness or into the Light.  I can choose to believe or not to believe.  I have been given the lifetime gift of choice.

I have chosen God’s Improvement Plan, how about you?

A Golf Course is a marvelous collaborative creation between God and man.  God created the terrain on which the course resides and man, using the creative gifts and talents granted him by God, impresses into that terrain a manicured landscape specifically designed to challenge and delight those wanting to play the game of golf.

Par 3 #16

Cypress Point, Monterrey Peninsula

This “hybrid” terrain requires constant attention and more than a little care to keep it in top-notch playing shape.  It takes a precise recipe that includes: light, air, water, rest, herbicides, pesticides, pruning, mowing and raking, tender loving care and attention to detail. Each of these ingredients must be added in just the right amount.  All of this is done under the watchful eye of a Greens-keeper  tasked with the ongoing challenge of maintaining a vibrant, healthy golf course.

I am fascinated to note that at the core of my being resides a wonderful gift, a soul–the Green of my life, uniquely crafted for me alone by the creator of all things.  This observation has led me to consider several questions. “Do I treat this precious entity with the respect and care it deserves?   Am I applying the appropriate ingredients and paying attention to the things so vital to maintaining its vibrancy and health?  What am I feeding and how am I attending to my “Soul/green” for this life and life eternal?”

A number of years ago my wife and I happened across an inspirational card, from “Successories”, a publisher of cards with beautiful photography and inspirational comments to match.

The caption reads:

“PRIORITIES”

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove … but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child.”

When I saw that card, its caption reminded me of my past and  immediately generated an onslaught of feelings and thoughts that acted as a “double-edged sword held to my heart.”  On the one edge were the never far away feelings of embarrassment, remorse and regret for the time I spent, unnecessarily, apart from my children in their formative years.  The poignancy of misplaced priorities and irresponsibility will reside forever as sadness in my heart.

The opposite edge of this “sword”, is the promise of the future, such as the joy and the exhilaration I experience as I recall a quote I saw some time ago which said:

“…Children are the messengers we send into a time we will never see.”

 This simple thought has inspired me to realign my priorities, move forward, learning as I go, with the intent of sharing those lessons learned with any and all who might listen. I have come to believe that most of life’s lessons are taught in the classroom of experience and personal observation. I have wrestled with some of these lessons for decades before finally yielding to their wisdom and choosing to pass them along..  

Those of us who love the game of Golf will readily confess that it is one of the finest metaphors of life in existence today.  There are tens of thousands of golf courses around the world, each unique, each with its own DNA, just as each human being is unique, every course experiences its own weather patterns and their variability.  Those weather changes—most of which can occur on the same day—can increase geometrically the demand for player flexibility, patience and understanding.  Another challenge is that the unmatched beauty of many of the venues can distract the focus of even the most stalwart enthusiast.

Golf is a game fraught with complexities that are both inviting and potentially frustrating. All of these factors are bound together by a commonly accepted set of rules and behaviors (mores).  These factors combine to provide a marvelous journal of memories.  There are a multitude of ideas and learning opportunities existent on the golf course begging to be identified, captured and passed successively from one generation to the next.

To those who might say, “… the last thing we need is another stupid Golf Blog…”, I hasten to add or respond that no two lenses are alike, not even those of identical twins.   We each have our own view and interpretation of what we see.  As a result, every time another person takes up his or her cause and chooses to write on a particular subject, another touch of color is added to this wonderful mosaic, this greatest of God’s earthly masterpieces called life.

As I undertake this journey, I do so under your watchful eye, understanding that you will scrutinize it closely, comparing it carefully against the life you have known.  Honesty is at a premium and I will strive diligently to share without embellishment or distortion the thoughts that follow.

Finally, I must give a special nod to Ken Gire for writing his book, “Windows of the Soul”, Zondervan Publishing House, 1996.  His words inspired and challenged me to “look into the scene… (Golf)…not merely at it.”

The Coeur d’Alene Resort Golf Course was the site of a sawmill, from 1916 to 1988, first as the Rutledge Timber Company, and from 1933 as the Potlatch Lumber Company. It was shut down in the early 70′s and sat idle until the Hagadone Corp. purchased it in 1988. Keeping the vision of a golf course and a floating green before them, the new owners set out to clean up the property.  They removed hundreds of old pilings, took out hundreds more sunken logs, cleaned up the lake bottom and shore, demolished a large number of buildings and turned it into the beautiful, environmentally friendly, world-class golf resort it is today.

The transformation  story of this golf course amazes me.  The owner of the property had a vision of what the property could become.  He knew the price would be high but considered the cost to be worth the end result.  So he paid the price and converted the property into a vibrant jewel, full of life and beauty for all to see and enjoy.

This is similar to the story of the transformation God has in mind for each of us—if we will allow Him..  He will spend the time and clear  the junk out of our lives and plant new and everlasting life within us to claim us as His children, bright and shining jewels, if we allow

Which do you choose the before or the after?

     If you have ever watched a professional golf tournament you have no doubt seen a person standing off to the side of each tee holding one or two “Quiet” signs.  As each player steps into position to hit their tee shot, the Marshall raises those signs high signaling a call for silence in the tee area.

Why is that?

The Marshall is simply requesting the courtesy of silence from the audience to allow the player a moment to focus on their pre-shot routine, desired swing mechanics and the target.  While this may seem a nominal courtesy and perhaps insignificant to the observer, it is of tremendous importance to the player as thousands of dollars ride on each shot.

Question:

If it is so important for a professional golfer to take a moment or two before each shot to “get his mind straight” in a game, doesn’t it seem appropriate for us as individuals to observe a similar practice in the conduct of our lives where we are the professionals?

How important is a little quiet time before each shot in your life?

Have you ever gone to the golf course intent on taking a break from the weight of the stresses, worries, sorrows, etc. of the moment only to find that they have come with you, invading your sanctuary and disrupting the serenity you so deeply desired? I have.

When this occurs, I take two action steps:

First – I Turn off the smart phone!  Taking the office to the course is not “taking a break.”  It heightens my anxiety  that in turn harms my game.

Second – I Reflect on the words of King David–of Biblical fame:

“I will look to the mountains–does my help come from there?                          

My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth.

He will not let me stumble; the one who watches over me will not slumber.

Indeed he who watches over me never slumbers. 

The Lord himself watches over me.  

The Lord stands beside me as my protective shade.

The sun will not harm me by day nor will the moon at night.

The Lord keeps me from all harm and

preserves my life.  The Lord keeps watch over me as I come and as I go, both now and forever.”                                              Psalm 121 (NLT) Personalized – LG

I consider this passage my “15^th club” and pull it out often.  It has helped my game significantly.  Try it, it might help your game as well.

Recently I have had challenges with my putting.  My ball has seemed to have a mind of its own, often choosing a direction different than I—its “Master”—intended.  So I have repaired to the practice mat and stroked hundreds of putts to figure out what I needed to do to effectively communicate and execute my primary putting desire—get the ball in the cup more regularly. Much to my delight, my practice revealed three simple absolute “Musts” I need to follow to my sink more putts.

First, I need to Focus on the moment—what do I need to do right now?  What’s the strategy?  What’s the line to the target?  What’s the best speed?  In short I need to discern what the situation dictates.

Second, I need to Commit to a line and pace—full on, no second-guessing.  Second-guessing—which causes hesitation— can ruin my golf game and even get me killed.

Third, I need to Follow-through on my chosen strategy—Focus and Commitment without Follow-through are useless.

In putting that means once I have settled in over my putt, having established the putt line and pace in my mind’s eye, I need to keep my head in the present—not doing any kind of “lookie yonder” or second-guessing, no sneaking a peek early which pulls my body off the intended target.  These distracting activities are a sure fire way to send my putt anywhere but into the cup.

Interestingly enough I have discovered that these “3 musts”—Focus, Commit, Follow-through (FCF)—demand consideration in every aspect of my Game from tee through green. And, the more I think about it, this process transcends golf and is applicable to every sector of my life—family, financial, career, social, intellectual, physical and spiritual.  I can gain tremendous insight into any area of my life by asking:

Am I focused on the issue?  Am I committed to a specific plan of action? How is my follow-through?

Once I have responded honestly to these three questions, the challenge becomes:  what will I do with what I have learned?

Have you ever been confronted with this situation?

You get up in the morning full of anticipation.  You’ve carved a hole in your schedule to get in an enjoyable round of golf with a friend.  You look outside and it’s foggy or it’s raining.  What do you do?  Do you play?  Do you “wait it out”?  Or do you postpone and go back to bed?

I had just this situation occur this week.  I got up, looked outside and saw that it was raining. About that time my phone rang. It was my friend asking if we should postpone—again—or gut it out and hope for the best.  We agreed to meet in the club coffee shop in forty-five minutes and assess the situation.

Shortly after starting my trip to the course—lights on and windshield wipers on “intermittent”— my mind began to wander to two summers before.

We were scheduled to play our first of two rounds at Bandon Dunes Golf resort.  The venue, situated along the wilderness coast of Oregon, enjoyed a great deal of good press and we were anticipating our opportunity to experience the courses and their rugged beauty.  We were expecting it all, but…

Pacific Dunes #13

Oil by: Joshua Smith

…as we were sitting in the coffee shop waiting for our tee time the fog encroached from the sea swallowing the courses in a dense, wet, white blanket.  Visibility dropped to a maximum of 50 yards.  We could hardly see the tee much less the fairway or any of the hole surroundings.

The question became, “Do we stay in the coffee shop or do we play?”  Our decision–we paid to play, we ain’t sittin’ here!  With an appropriate adjustment in clothing–to rain gear–we headed to the tee to experience one of the “most beautiful rounds we never saw.”  Our caddies were seasoned young men who knew the course well and gave us excellent guidance even though we rarely saw our ball after its first thirty yards of flight.

Somewhere in the midst of our round one of the most surreal and awe-inspiring things I have ever experienced occurred.  We were being guided down a fairway–I know not which–when my wife, suddenly pointed, whispering, “stop…look” There, perhaps ten paces from us, stood three deer, grazing in the rough.  They slowly looked up from their lunch, noticed us and then went back to eating as if this was the way life was supposed to be. They weren’t skittish, they didn’t turn and run, they simply looked up for a moment and then settled back to grazing .

I was astonished.  Never had we been so close to creatures in the wild, that seemed to be so totally at ease with us.  What a treat.    It was as if we had been given a small glimpse of heaven where peace reigns.  The tranquility of the moment was astounding and while I am aware that my human mind cannot fully conceive what I will experience in heaven, this small glimpse will keep me running toward life with my Dad, the Creator of all things, forever.

The next time you are tempted not to play because of some nominal inconvenience just think what you might miss.  God has said “I am with you always”

I believe him.

Rory McIlroy getting a congratulatory hug from his father Jerry upon winning the 2011 U.S. Open

Did you see it?  Did you see the eyes?  Could you hear their hearts pumping?  Check the arms.  This was no obligatory embrace.  It was a grab and hold, man sized hug and a declaration of deep love between a father and son.  There was enough pride, love and appreciation in this moment to feed thousands of Fathers this day.  To me it was the finest shot of the tournament.  I loved it.

The event was the 2006 U.S. Open Championship.  The setting was the famous Winged Foot Golf Club in Mamaroneck, New York.  Phil Mickelson had taken several weeks to study the course and made multiple pre-tournament visits to the course spending many hours meticulously identifying the best way to play specific holes.

Come tournament time, Mickelson held his own through the first three days and maintained a one stroke lead going into the 18^th and final hole of the tournament.  He needed only to par the 18^th hole to capture his fourth major title.

Phil walked to the tee box, quickly surveyed the situation.  Then, ignoring any message of caution his “inner caddy” might have been transmitting, he reached for his driver–a tool that had basically deserted him throughout the day–placed his ball on the tee, took his swing position and pulled the trigger.

His ball, in mid-flight, seemed to get a mind of its own charting a highly undesirable course to the left of the fairway.  It caromed off the “Champions’ Tent” and eventually came to rest well off the fairway among the trampled grass and hardpan with a huge tree obstructing a clear shot to the green.  The question was, what would Phil do? Would he take his lumps and knock the ball out to the fairway giving himself a wedge shot to the green and a possible one put to win or two put to tie…or would he go for the green in two.  The words of caution, “the best way is the safe way” seemed to hold no sway in his thinking at the moment. The tension amongst the spectators was palpable.

Choices…

He unleashed his 3 iron shot and scored a direct hit on the tree he was trying to miss.  As his fans murmured, he walked the few yards separating him from his ball.  Now with the offending tree close at hand, Phil changed strategies and hit a 9 iron over the top of the villainous timber.  The shot missed its intended mark, landing instead in a green-side bunker, creating a crater in which the ball buried itself.  His fourth and his last chance to save par and win the tournament outright—a bunker shot—went past the pin and stopped in the fringe grass surrounding the green, still a substantial distance from the cup.

Consequences…

He still had a possibility of winning in a playoff the following day if he sank his fifth shot.   Unfortunately for Phil, it took him two more strokes to get the ball in the cup. He walked off the course with a double bogey 6, losing the tournament by one stroke to Geoff Ogilvy.  In one agonizing hole his spirits went from tremendous delight to devastating despair. His heart and spirit were clearly reflected in his post game press conference statement, “…I can’t believe I did that…I am such an idiot.”[1] As a result, the 2006 U.S. Open Championship will always carry the sidebar: “the tournament Phil lost.”  Oh well, maybe next time.

Of course, it’s not true.  Phil was not and is not an idiot.  What he did is common to us all, he just happened to do it on a world stage with millions of people watching.  He proved that he was human and subject to making decisions that in retrospect, he wishes he hadn’t made.  Retrospect is a wonderful teacher, isn’t she?  The reality is that Phil simply did not hear or listen to his “inner caddy” advising, “Caution, this is not the time for heroics.”  As painful as this experience was for Phil, it is a vivid example of cascading consequences when you choose to ignore the counsel of your ” inner caddy.”

So what…?

All of this brings me to one sobering reality.  There will come a time when my chances to get it right (choices to play the hole differently) will run out, both on the golf course and in life.  There is one choice in this life that I absolutely must get right–only one.  I must choose where I will live in eternity.  Do I choose the absolute joy of an eternal loving relationship life with our Maker or do I choose an eternity of solitary darkness apart from him?   It’s s simple choice with absolutely incalculable consequences.

I have chosen absolute joy, how about you?

In the summer of 2009, Links Players International challenged its participants to contribute short essays responding to the question, “What is the most poignant lesson God has taught you through the game of golf?”  Recreated below is my response to that request.

 It’s All About the Cup

A few days ago a friend and I were engaged in a little chipping competition to see who could get closer to the cup with their chip shots.  In the course of that competition my friend had the “good fortune” to fly his chip directly into the cup—nothin’ but net!  We stopped for a moment had a good laugh and experienced the joy of our camaraderie.  The sight of the ball disappearing into the cup is still fresh in my mind.

That experience reminded me of the simple truth that it doesn’t matter how or from where you hit the ball, what matters is that it goes into the cup and stays.  You can “FedEx” it in from the next fairway, blast it out of a bunker or a creek bed or knock it in from sixty feet away.  You can bang it over the green and then send it back to the cup from the “north forty,” or finesse a double breaking putt from ten feet out.

The approach or where the ball came from does not matter as long as the ball goes in the cup. If the ball goes in the cup, the score counts.  There is no way to record your score unless the ball goes into the cup.  There is no “Plan B.”

Some time later, as I reminisced again at my friends shot and his good fortune, I was struck with awe at the realization that there is a direct correlation between the importance of the cup in golf and “The Cup” of my life—Jesus Christ.  God, the Rule Maker of all things, provided for me a “Cup” —Jesus Christ—my portal to eternal life with our Maker.  Nothing else matters: my past, my friends, my neighborhood, my clothes, my job or my age.  None of it.  I can approach his portal of grace from anywhere at any time.

Now when I walk on to a green and see “the cup,” I am once again thankful that God provided “the Cup” of Jesus sacrifice so that I might receive mercy, forgiveness, and grace through which I can “score” eternal life with the Creator of all things.

It’s all about “the Cup,” the only way to score.

Picture this if you can:

My foursome is four and half hours into a round with two holes still to play in an round that should have taken no more than four hours.  To make matters worse, the foursome in front of us is on the green, stalking every put as if maintaining possession of the “Ryder Cup” lay squarely on their shoulders.  At the same moment I hear from behind us the distant cry of that dreaded word, “Fooorrre”, as a ball comes to rest nor more than five paces from my feet.

What do I do?

a)    Pick up the offending ball—they should have known better than to hit into us.

b)   Give the offender a quick bit of international sign language, shout back “what’s your hurry you bleepin jerk?” and hit the ball back to him.

c)    Give similarly laced instructions to the group in front regarding their slow play.

d)   Give the offender the ol’ “no problem wave” while energetically considering a “triple play” of a,b and c.—I’ll set’em all straight!

e)    Follow my “Do-List”—as outlined in my June 6 blog—show Grace, Love and Understanding in the situation i.e. “love my neighbor.”

The obvious, and politically correct, answer is “e” to which you might justifiably respond, “…Yah, yah, yah, blah, blah, blah, that’s great ‘Lar’ but it just ain’t that easy!”

You’re absolutely right.  It ain’t!  But it is a choice, a choice not unlike those we get to make daily in other facets of our lives.  In Golf and in “all things Life” we are challenged with an unavoidable parade “high road/low road choices.

In the book Seven Habits of Highly Successful People , Stephen Covey states, “…between stimulus and response, we have the opportunity to choose that’s what separates us from the animals.” 

I have the opportunity, and yes, the obligation, to choose what my response will be.  What’s the right choice for me?  Will I build or burn a bridge?  Will I court delight or disaster?

The choice is mine……and yours.

Given.  We all want to “play well.”

The question is what approach do we choose to reach that “play well” goal?  Do I “do” or do I don’t”

A number of years ago, during an afternoon round of golf with my daughter, we stepped the tee of a particular hole that seemed to be fraught with potential disaster.  She looked out over the hole and said, “man there’s a lot of trouble out there.”  I chuckled and said “yup (pause) …just pick a target in the fairway and go for it.”  She did and to her surprise her shot came to rest in the middle of the fairway on track with her intended target.

What made her relax and hit a descent shot was that she had put aside all the “don’ts”—don’t go in the bunkers the lake or the rough— and focused on the “do’s.” She picked a wise target, focused on it and pulled the trigger with confidence—three simple critical success factors.

My life experience is that I am much more successful when I focus on the few critical factors necessary for success as well.  Scripture specifically encourages this approach of focusing on the “do’s”, providing a simple two point “Do-List” for a “well played” life:

“…love the Lord with all your heart and all your soul and all your mind…and…love your neighbor as yourself.     (Matthew 21:37-39  NLT)

Amidst all the bunkers, hazards and rough that life can lay out before me, Wisdom (Jesus) lays out a simple two-point “Do-List” to follow. My Challenge, will I burden myself with the never ending list of don’ts that can plague my life or will I opt for the short list of Do’s necessary for a good life?  Will I focus on the things that might go wrong or the things I want to do right.  Will I function out of fear or hope?

My choice…I’ll take the “Do-List.”